Exercise 30:
Write from the mind of someone whose confused with their life
and isn’t sure what they are supposed to be doing with it. Describe what they
are feeling and thinking, and how they view the world.
I’ve been waking up every day for the past 18 or so years
wondering what I’m supposed to be doing with my life. When I was a kid it was the concept of how do
I obtain friends that I can value and who value my presence. As time went on, I started to wonder if
anyone would care if I were gone. Would
anyone miss me if I died?
I wake up in my twin sized bed that I’ve been sleeping in
since I was in high school, still living at home with my parents. We’ve moved around a few times in the past
year or two. I can’t even remember how
many times we’ve moved it was so frequent.
I’m still jobless, but going to school and trying to figure out who I’m
supposed to be. My options feel so
limited. I’m good at many things but a
master of none. I’ve been praised for
this, praised for that, but am I really good at any of it? Is that who I’m supposed to be?
I feel like a chameleon who can’t figure out what she wants. I try so many different things, but none of
them can seem to make me a dime. Why do
I chase hobbies instead of finding some solid job? I’ve met the love of my life, and yet things
still don’t make any sense. I feel like
a let-down for not knowing what I want to do.
I know what I don’t want to do with my life, and that’s better than
knowing nothing at all. There are some
things I’m passionate about and yet these days I can’t kindle that passion and
put it to good use. Maybe school has
just burnt me out and stolen from me everything I had once found love and
comfort within.
Maybe the only answer to who I am is in all those things I’ve
found joy within, whether I still find that joy or whether people have crushed
those dreams. Maybe I’m not the settling
type, maybe I’m meant to do a great many things, but how can I make money doing
any of them? Life seems so intangible.
I’m stuck in quicksand.
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